Long Time No See...

Mood: Oh so relaxed!
Listening to: Jaci Velasquez - Christmas
Reading: Red Moon Rising by Pete Greig

Wow! I haven't updated my blog or my portfolio since July! Haha. That's just silly of me. But I have an excuse... sort of... I'm in college! And college is hard. Fun, but time-consuming. And you know, in the rare occasion that I have no schoolwork to do, I would rather hang out with friends than write a blog post that will only be read by five people. Or two.

Anyway, now I am back home for Christmas. All done with finals, all done with my first semester of college! So I have nothing but free time now. And it's the most wonderful time of the year! Yay!

I am planning on making a new layout for my website during this break. It's had this layout for almost two years so I feel like it's time for a change. I also have a lot of new photos to put up, and a couple of art pieces. So expect some updates soon, you imaginary person who I like to pretend actually reads my blog! Yay!

Portfolio Updates

Mood: tranquil
Listening to: Anberlin - New Surrender
Reading: That Hideous Strength by C. S. Lewis

It has taken me far too long, but I have finally put all of my 3D artwork onto my portfolio! Hooray! These are all of the 3D projects from my four years of high school art classes. The thumbnails below only show one angle of each piece, but if you click on them you can see multiple angles and a description of each piece. So there you have it - I hope you enjoy looking at them! My favorites are definitely the Dufflepud and the wire cat, so look at those two especially. :)

Clay



Plaster


Wire

What I am working on next is putting up more of my short stories and prose, so keep an eye out for that soon. Very soon. (I mean it!)

Art and Wholeness

Mood: whole
Listening to: Mutemath - Spotlight EP
Reading: The Brothers Karamazov (for school)

About time for an update. Having some deep thoughts lately.

Every now and then I experience states of mind in which I can see the wholeness of everything, of God, of humanity, of art, of the universe. The coherence and integrity of it all. I see God in works of art, in people's faces. It all has to do with Creation: a fascination with God's creation and the ability He gave us to create.

Science has a profound effect on me as I see the order and complexity that God gave to this little planet called Earth, and the universe of which we inhabit only the tiniest corner. There is the macro infinity, the study of astronomy. Look at the galaxies, the artwork of stars clumped together, the beauty of nebulas and solar systems. There is such order; God created the scientific, mathematical formulas for the universe; God created the rules that it would follow. And we as humans can pursue the knowledge of that higher scientific order that organizes it all. Then there is the micro infinity, the study of biology, chemistry. Just as there is no end to the vastness of the universe, there is equally no end to the tininess of cells, molecules, atoms, and smaller. God gave order and rules to every last particle of matter. And it is all equally significant to Him, the macrocosm and the microcosm, because it is all His creation which He so meticulously designed for the benefit of us living beings. (I am reminded of Madeleine L'Engle's A Wind in the Door, which is where I was first introduced to this general idea a few years ago.)

And so we respond to God's creation with our own. This is the essence of being an artist, to me: making art is a response to God. And deep down, I am an artist at heart: however, I am interested in so many areas of art (drawing, writing fiction, writing poetry, composing music, singing...) that I can't choose just one artistic ability to develop. I'd rather work on developing my whole self, the whole artist, not just a single area, because if my self is whole then my art may be whole. And it's not my responsibility to "develop myself"—it's God's. Last semester in my C.S. Lewis elective class, I learned about Lewis's idea that God created the unique personality for each individual, and it is through the pursuit of God and living in the knowledge and love of God that makes you sort of grow into that personality and become who God created you to be. So I rest secure knowing that God knows me more deeply than I know myself. I can rely on Him to help me become the person I am going to be thousands of years from now when my sole purpose is to glorify His name.

Let's see. Where am I going with this? Ah, yes. Art.

I am very opinionated about my preferences and sense of art. (Art, in this case, mainly referring to music and literature.) I feel that true art must reflect beauty, because true art must reflect God's nature. True art has to be a reflection of the beauty of Creation. Art must reflect truth. For me to call it art, it has to inspire me to contemplate and reflect on Creation with respect to God's nature. I know it's confusing—it's really hard for me to define. Here's an example. Last month I had to read One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich for my World Lit class. I trudged through all 180 pages, not enjoying it in the least. I fully appreciated the historical truth about Russian work camps and all, but it was impossible for me to enjoy it in the sense that I could call it art. I could call it literature, but not art. It was more like a documentary than a novel. I know that literary experts would call me ignorant and blame my opinion on inexperience, but I'd still stick to my opinion. Art has to be transcendent; it has to make you ponder beauty; it has to point to truth and ultimately to God.

This month I am reading another Russian novel for my World Lit class, The Brothers Karamazov...and I am enjoying it, as true art. I don't call it that just because it talks about God and love a lot, but because the experiences of the characters, their lives and the settings around them, somehow transcend the novel and point to something higher. The story does inspire contemplation and reflection, because the experiences of the characters reflect some higher truth.

I can't tell if I'm communicating this well. Do you see what I mean? It's about wholeness.

I must point out that several of the ideas in this post were implanted in me by Madeleine L'Engle's book Walking on Water, which discusses the relationship between the Christian faith and art.

Here are some websites I've been browsing lately:

Life, the Universe, and Everything: Lots of cool science stuff connecting the universe and cosmology to God and creation.
All About God: Tons of articles and videos about God, the Bible, apologetics, creation...
Revolution Against Evolution: Lots of essays and resources with evidence for creation/intelligent design instead of evolution.

Frustrating Incidents & Florida

Mood: content
Listening to: Sigur Rós
Reading: Phantastes by George MacDonald



^ One of my favorite pics from my trip to Florida.
Wow! I haven't updated my website in a long time! The last two months have been crazy and eventful, but extremely exciting and fun. I went to both Arkansas and Florida, on separate trips, within the last three weeks.

Some thoughts. As time goes on, I find that I am getting more and more ready to graduate from high school. Just about four months left now. It's the home stretch and I'm going to work hard, not slack off, but really I am so ready for a more independent and fun life in college. I'm ready for more maturity...some people in high school just don't take responsibility for their own actions. Argh. Some people in my class—the senior class, who are supposed to set a good example for the underclassmen—are going off campus for lunch when they're not allowed to, and lying about it. They claim that they're legally allowed to sign themselves out because they're 18. But they chose to come to this school so they should abide by the rules! It's just so immature and pointless. Also, there was recently an incident about discrimination at my school that made the local news...I am just really frustrated and disappointed with some of the people at my school. I don't even know who they are...but just the fact that these things are happening disappoints me. SO, all that to say... yeah, I'm ready to graduate.

This semester I'm taking an elective Creative Writing class. I've decided that I'm going to have the guts to put most of what I write up here on my website. I've already written some prose, so expect to see that here soon. Yay!

Another pic from Florida:

It says BT's Lounge. Of course, being an uber-nerd at heart, I had to whip out my camera and take a blurry picture of the sign. Just imagine, what if the people there just lounge around listening to BT all day...you know, This Binary Universe, with the DVD playing and projected on a wall...then at night they break out his trance and techno tracks and people start dancing. WOW I am scaring myself with this silly idea. Anyway if you've never heard of BT, look him up and buy This Binary Universe (you have to get the DVD for the full experience)! It's uh-maze-ing

Working on the Portfolio

Mood: relaxed
Listening to: Eisley - Room Noises
Reading: Till We Have Faces by C. S. Lewis (for school)

A few portfolio updates. Finally. :)


The thumbnails above are only a few of several new nature pictures on the Photos page.


Two new sketches on the Art page. Actually, they are both over a year old, I just haven't put them on my website till now :)

And a few new bits of writing:

Devil's Advocate - my own Screwtape Letter
Autumn Locus - a bit of descriptive prose
Rhythm, Melody, Destruction - a poem

My next goal for portfolio updates is to take photos of my three-dimensional art. Look for those in the next one or two weeks. :)

For anyone who's curious, here's an update on my NaNoWriMo novel. Words written after November 30: 324. I know! Pathetic right? I don't think I'm going to finish the novel before January :(

A Monumental Month

Mood: exuberant
Listening to: Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron soundtrack
Reading: The Picture of Dorian Gray and The Problem of Pain (both for school)

Wow. All month without a blog post! Yes, it has been a busy, eventful November. Most significantly, I won NaNoWriMo! Second year in a row! The month was exhausting but rewarding at the end—because all my hard work resulted in 50,073 words of a novel. However, my novel is miles from being finished. The story is about 70% done, maybe 65%. But I think this story is worth more effort. It turned out better than I expected, and it's worthy of being completed! Also, I know that at the beginning of the month my big goal was to write "The End" before December 1. Well, since that didn't happen, my new goal is to write "The End" before January 1. Which means I have all of Christmas break to add about 30% more of the story. I can do it if I set my mind to it. :)

I also got a MacBook this month! It's my graduation present from my parents (they gave it to me early). I love it so much, and it is so much fun to play around with, and it is so much faster and easier than the eMac I've been using for the last couple of years. Hooray!

Other big things this month: of course, Mr. President-elect Obama. Not the result I was hoping for. But a funny thing happened: the day after the election, that Wednesday night at my youth group, we all prayed for Obama. Honestly this was a surprise to me because I hadn't really considered praying for him. But prayer is all we can do now...praying that he makes the right decisions, praying that God would actually guide him, praying that somehow God's will for America would be done through Obama as president. And praying that Congress will not pass the Freedom of Choice Act, because Obama said it's one of his first priorities to sign it into law. But God is stronger, and God is larger than all of that, and He has the power to change things. We just have to have faith that He will. (I have some opinions on the "separation of church and state," or how God and the government interact. I might write a blog about that some time.)

On a lighter note, this month I read Out of the Silent Planet and Perelandra, the first two books of C. S. Lewis's space trilogy. Wow. I'm really bad at writing book reviews...I can never come up with anything better to say than "I liked it." So, yeah, I liked them. A lot. I think I liked Out of the Silent Planet more for its imagery and ideas, with the introduction to a new world, but I liked Perelandra more for its theological concepts. Some day soon I will have to start reading That Hideous Strength, the third one, but it seems like I never have time to read books for leisure any more!

I think that's all of the big things from my November. More posts soon—now that I'm not writing 1,667 words a day, I have more free time! :)

NaNoWriMo All The Time-O!

Mood: energetic
Listening to: nada
Reading: Perelandra and Paradise Lost (both for school)

It's that time of year again! Lovely November, when the air starts to get chilly, the trees stand bare, and over a hundred thousand people across the world ravenously begin typing their brand-new masterpieces. Yes, I am doing National Novel Writing Month again this year: it's my third year, and hopefully my second victory. Don't ask me why there's a viking hat on my participant icon.

The prospects for this year's novel are looking good. I am basically re-writing my first novel ever, "Auteria," that I started when I was 12. Of course, you can't use previously written material for NaNoWriMo. But I've changed the story, the plot, and the characters so much that it only bears a slight resemblance to the original novel.

My biggest goal this year is to actually finish the novel in the month, and finish it in 50,000 to 53,000 words. Because I am just so bad at finishing the novels I start. Last year I reached over 51,000 words, but the story was only about 4/5 done. And I haven't finished it! Still! So, this year my aim is to actually write "The End" before December 1.

I'm excited. I put a word-count tracker in the sidebar, so you can cheer me on. :)

In the meantime, I accomplished many important things this weekend. I submitted three (3!) online college applications, and one scholarship application. The stress is starting to fade out. I actually had fun writing essays. Since I'm only applying to Christian colleges, I got to talk about my relationship with God and my testimony and stuff. It was kind of fun to do some "soul-searching" and describe the milestone that I'm at in my life, which is beginning the transition from high school to college and my "real-world" life after that. So, wish me luck, as I still have a couple of applications to complete this month!

And don't worry...NaNoWriMo is not my top priority this month. College apps are, then homework and school stuff, then my novel. I'm just taking every moment of free time I can get to write! :)

A Peculiar Thirst

Mood: contemplative
Listening to: Hillsong United
Reading: Out of the Silent Planet

It's fall break. I've been spoiled by this lovely, school-free week, ever since I came to my school in 4th grade. With the empty days comes time to simply relax a bit. Yes, it is the middle of the October of my senior year, which means I am approaching the days when I will have to make important decisions about my life after high school. But this weekend I've been able to enjoy moments of rest.

However, I've been noticing something strange.

Whenever I have free time like this, there are certain things I particularly enjoy doing. For example: I wrote a song and have been working on it in GarageBand. I made some progress in outlining one of my novels. I'm working on catching up in my scrapbook/diary.

But I feel that all of these little pleasures are sort of distracting me from what is most important. I feel exactly like C.S. Lewis in Surprised By Joy, when he described the sensation of Joy. He was drawn to studying mythology because it gave him a feeling of desire for something faraway and unattainable. In the same way, my own little endeavors of artistic creations...like writing, composing music, and scrapbooking...produce a feeling of being close to God through being a co-creator with The Creator. But this sense is only an imitation of knowing God deeply, the highest joy. Lewis said, "I sometimes wonder whether all pleasures are not substitutes for Joy."

My prayer and reason for living is to know God, and "become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ." (Ephesians 4:13.) There is this thirst within my heart, to know Christ more when I go to bed every day than I did when I woke up. So it seems that my other harmless pleasures—with which I can pretend to seek God—are merely distractions from praying and studying His Word.

I apologize if this post was rather wandering or vague. I suppose my proposition here is that the only way to true Joy is to take joy in God alone, to make the Word of God my contemplation, my meditation, my object of desire.

Where You Lead Me

Mood: anticipatory
Listening to: "Where You Lead Me" by MercyMe

What is life?
A thousand roads, a thousand ways...
Why am I so afraid to move?
I crossed the line;
I'm stepping out, so come what may.
I give it all, 'cause I'm drawn to You.
As long as my heart is beating...

Where You lead me, I will follow.
Where You lead me, I'll give my life away.
Where You lead me, I will follow.
Forever and a day,
Forever and a day.

I can't deny, Your very presence is my life;
And why would I ever turn away?
'Cause deep inside, I know that I cannot rely
On anything less than faith.
As long as my heart is beating...

[Chorus]

This is all I'm dreaming of,
To live completely in Your love...

So this is life;

[Chorus x2]

In the midst of this madness that is the college search process, I know that nothing will do me good until my faith is completely in Him.

"Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will stand." Isaiah 14:24

Ramblings

Mood: rather nice
Listening to: Llegar a Ti - Jaci Velasquez
Reading: Brisingr (for fun), The Screwtape Letters & Paradise Lost (in school)

¡Hola! Quiero hablar en español, pero probablemente tú no me entenderás. Me gusta mi música en español, y me encanta leer mi Biblia bilingüe. :)

Well, life is busy. Busy busy. Being a senior is fun, but the workload... stress about college applications... scholarship applications... yeah, I'm afraid it will get even more overwhelming in October and November. I'm just trying to keep cool and enjoy Homecoming week with Powderpuff and school spirit and the dance this weekend.

I bought Brisingr (you know, Inheritance Book 3, Christopher Paolini...you know?) the Saturday it came out, over a week ago. Now I've read about 170 pages. I usually read a lot more quickly, but homework and stuff. So far I'm liking it, at least it's better than Eldest so far. I'll see when I'm done... (which at the rate I'm going, could take a month! xP)

Sorry, this post is kind of random and disjointed. But I have a lot of random things to talk about.

Now I am going to add a couple of things to my About page. :) ¡Adios!